Archives for posts with tag: scandal

Welcome Back Dear Readers!

In the vein of Sofia from Color Purple, DBW is home ‘nah. And, as particular to how my people understand my people, I have been on CP time with finishing the first season of BET’s Being Mary Jane (BMJ). Listen, there were too many shows around that time. Bumper to damn bumper shows and between that and, you know, a job complete with all the writing you can stand and I just didn’t have the wherewithal (I’m classy thus I use classy words) to finish the show. I was three episodes from completion. And every week my recollection that I needed to catch up got filled with other things. Like Chipotle. And Haribo Gummi Bears. And occasionally: sleep.

But Jesus be a short summer break (I still have ALL the writing to do) and some insomnia: I FINISHED THE SHOW. (The caps are for me. I’m tryna do like Iyanla says and live my truth and stuff.)

And while my doomed shipper heart suffered as per usual (I ain’t spoiling ish so don’t come here fussing at me about that), I mostly enjoyed the series overall.*

But this ain’t a review so I’m not spending time delineating what about the show I liked—not necessarily.

 

Here at DBW y’all know I have ONE mission. I talk about Black people.

 

I talk about Black people…alot. You’ll find nothing different on this inspired occasion. Why inspired? Cause of this:

Image

Clockwise: Vera Farmiga (who looks an awful lot like Sarah Jessica Parker for my tastes–girl stop fucking with your face); Keri Russell, Julianna Marguiles, Jessica Pare, Claire Danes, Sarah Paulson.

Let’s get a better shot shall we:

Image

So much white! So much…Blue. So. much. blush.

Okay, let me put some things out here first before y’all forget who you’re talking to.

Disclaimer 1: DBW LOVES most all of these shows represented on this cover. DBW does not watch Bates Motel because DBW is not interested in refreshing her skills of psychoanalysis thus she will not be watching Vera Farmiga have a bad love relationship with her child. DBW also does not watch The Americans as DBW tried to watch it in its first season and often felt fatigue more than excitement. Also, I don’t really find Derek Luke all that attractive so that wasn’t a pull. I mean when I see Black people on FX shows–even in secondary roles, I’m looking at YOU Justified. I’m on the RAY-CHEL ship and I will go down with that little pirogue you hear me– ahem, I try to pay attention.

American Horror Story: Ain’t enough hours in the damn day to justify why I can’t be bothered. Suffice to say? I can’t be bothered. Also, Sarah Paulson ain’t friendly and she can go jump off a water slide.

But The Good Wife? Hell yes I watch. DBW is still wearing her funeral black after this damn season.

I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget.

See? Now I’m chanting the lines from A:tS “I Will Remember you.” That’s how much damage Robert and Michelle King inflicted upon me.

Image

(MY FAVORITE EPISODE OF THAT SHOW EVER. EVER. COME FOR ME.)

:clears throat again: Homeland? Yes indeed I watched that foolishness. I went from a Carrie and Brody fan to a Carrie and Quinn fan and WOULDN’T HE MAKE A WONDERFUL DADDY TO SILLY ASS CARRIE’S BABY?! TELL THE TRUTH.  I MEAN HE SHOT HER AND THE TUMBLR SHIPPERS SWOONED LIKE THAT WAS A LOVE LICK.

Image

DBW still ain’t let go of Claire Danes and Billy Crudup breaking up Mary Louise Parker’s [seemingly happy] home and yet I sit down to watch that show and fuss about them white people ‘er week.

Mad Men? Chile. That show has been my bedside companion since 2008. When folks didn’t know what AMC was I was sitting down watching little Sally Draper put that plastic bag over her head. The Angels was watching over her silly ass even then. #blessed

Image

But Mad Men is where I want to start this conversation because you know, of all the women who could have been on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter’s [Leading] Drama Queens edition, the one none of us was checking for was Jessica Paré, aka Megan Draper…er….what was her name before she married “DOHN” as she says it?

Image

The most famous moment. Don’t start singing it else you’ll get stuck with that earworm for all eternity.

I got no issues with Paré. Not a one. Well, I got one. You ready?

SHE AIN’ T THE LEAD ACTRESS.

The lead actress is the one whose name appears earlier in the credits. That person: Elisabeth Moss. Do y’all know where Paré’s name is listed? 10th. Tied with Kiernan Shipka.

:sips Simply Limeade and bites dill pickle and lips purse from the salt:

 

What is DBW trying to wait for you to pick up on? Well…that she ain’t lead.

 

And why would DBW come out of hiding to bring up that little fact? Well, we’ve been here before. Walk with me through memory lane. Remember this? Then (Lord that was 4 years ago…WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE) I tried to describe the context around which, if any, BW would be allowed to be cover material for a magazine like Vanity Fair.

Well…since then…little has changed. Last year Kerry Washington (I’m getting to her in a minute too) was allowed on cover because she’s THE BLACK WOMAN on television that we all must recognize, respect and admire because she’s beautiful according to a number of cultural registers including the most dominant one–the Eurocentric one (listen), well-educated, articulate (these are always criteria for BP to exceed their racial status) and EXCITED ABOUT LIFE (have you watched her interviews? She’s SO excited. And let’s not begin to chat about how her Neutrogena sponsorship ain’t gon work for all us BW. Neutrogena has always been just a shade or THREE too light for many of us. Carry on though, girl. Carry on.)

Disclaimer 2: I ain’t knocking Washington.** I like her fine. But she’s got herself in an interesting pickle not of her own design. That pickle being that when you’re the only one all expectations, joys, worries, responsibilities and burdens fall to you.

And folks, BW on television is a lot like being a Highlander. There can be only one. :Cue “Princes of the Universe”:

I know, I know, you’re gonna say,”but there’s 6 coming this year to television DBW. Viola, Halle, Taraji, Octavia, Regina, Jada. Not to mention the ones already on tv: Kerry, Taraji (when she was on Person of Interest….my heart goes out to you CaReese fans), Nicole, Gabourey, and Angela.”

It’s true, it’s true. There’s no better time to be a negress on television. And, yet, based on the cover of THR? It’s almost as if it doesn’t matter.

Here’s the thing that rubbed me wrong folks: THR would rather put an actress with 10th billing on the cover of its magazine rather than a lead Black actress (I’m not even going to expand to other women of color because I’d be here all day. I mean, Lucy Liu? Archie Panjabi? I could go on…) with first or second billing.

Kerry was on the cover last year and she had a baby this year so she was unavailable. But again: She wasn’t the only one of us on television. She’s just the only one visible. I mean, let’s take a looksie over the last three years and see if there’s a pattern:

Image

2013: Kerry front and center. And there’s Elisabeth Moss. I guess you can’t have back to back repeats. But you also don’t need to have the same show twice either…

Image

2012: Either way? There’s Marguiles and Danes on cover. Mmhmm.

Image

2011: Interesting that Marguiles is on back to back covers. Connie Britton returns in 2013. Christina Hendricks but HEY! Regina King! (Who will be confused with Rutina Wesley that year)

 

Image

2014: But maybe THR felt like they hit their diversity quota with the Oscar roundtable? I mean, it’s a perfectly even 3:3 ratio.

And this is why, while I’m terribly curious about what this upcoming television season will do for Viola and Halle and their own visibility despite being lauded with more nominations that you know…Kerry ever got…ahem…I know this industry doesn’t always think about those who don’t fit their models.

Because, why has no one done a cover of Halle for CBS’s Extant? Why is there no slow rollout of her as there was for Kerry?*** I’m sure there will be. I’m sure it’s only just May.

But folks: It’s Halle Berry. Oscar award winner Halle Berry…Coming to television. That’s a pretty big deal considering how excited we all were to see a successful film actress like Kerry Washington enter a primetime series–and rightly so! Again, no shade.

But Jessica Paré.

Academy-Award nominated Angela Bassett in a season of television where all DBW heard was that her performance was wonderful and fierce with them giant ass dookie braids. Can’t be on the cover.

Image

Indeed Madam. Indeed.

 

Not unless she’s with the rest of the AHS cast and Ryan Murphy.

Image

Then she can have a photo.

Image

Just a quick aside to say DBW believes in God because this woman’s face and body is still as fabulous as it was when she was shimmying in that sparkly Halston for WLGTDWI.

But Jessica Paré.

Nicole Beharie and her gorgeous-used-to date-Michael-Fassbender-and-got-me-all-in-my-feelings-after-they-broke-up-but-now-is-on-a-hit show-self that’s just as strange as whatever Sarah Paulson did on AHS.

But Jessica Paré.

There’s one name I haven’t mentioned in this section and it’s the one I started this whole thing off with: the lead actress of Being Mary Jane, Gabrielle Union.

Image

This show is important for a number of reasons: 1) It’s a huge success for BET who finally got their ish together and decided to back their original programming with real money and not that Monopoly money they been trying to pretend is real currency for years. 2)It gives us glimpses of complex Black sexuality that has been held back from us for a good long while.

I mean….this scene of Mary Jane’s married dude Andre diving into her pool to fix her broken light, because she ain’t getting in (HAIR), resulted in him looking like this:

Image

Which resulted in this wonderful moment.  Shivers at that moment she curls and uncurls her toes. Even Seasoned Saint sexuality with Mary Jane’s Mama and Daddy having a moment!

3) It provides a formidable counter to much of the race-neutral characterizations many BW have to take on in this current television era. From the first episode where Mary Jane is in bed wearing a headscarf because she wears an expensive weave that requires she not lie on it without a covering, DBW fell in love with the show’s cultural specificity.

Image

HEADSCARF.

Again, specificity is not the same as stereotype. Stereotypes are reductive attributes, fixed, immutable, and naturalized. Specificity suggests cultural characteristics that resonate within specific populations. For example, the idea that Scandal’s Olivia Pope can lie on a pillow without a head scarf and wake up with it magically laid to rest is not accurate; neither is it specific.

BW’s haircare is EXPENSIVE. I don’t care HOW down you may feel about your boyfriend married President not being there for you. Before you go lay down in your bed and cry while listening to the best of Anita Baker and Sade (or if you’re classy inclined—Nina Simone), you BETTA tie yo’ damn hauh (read: hair) up so you can be ready for work in the morning.

You can tell I still ain’t forgave Olivia for that ish in season 2. Still ain’t. Only thing could make it right is a jar of coconut oil and a large widetooth comb on her bathroom counter.

Anyway…Mary Jane did. It was REFRESHING to see a BW do what I do at night. It is nice to know you are seen. Not just ideal. Not a glorious, glamorous, fierce, impervious, always über fashionable but a woman who if she ain’t got no company over, ties her hair up with a silk scarf so it won’t be crispy, crunchy, wavy (in the wrong places) the next morning.

Image

I ain’t saying the show is perfect. The only consistent storyline is the romance arc. There’s no big goal to work toward. It’s much more a case study of a neurotic/narcissistic/bourgie/well networked Southern Black cable news anchor.

Neither perfect are the performances. Union is good; great could be if she works on it. She needs more practice in her dramatic levels but she’s a Black girl I recognize. A Black girl that helps create a continuum of Black womanhood on television. Olivia Pope, much like the woman who portrays her, cannot be the only one because there is only so much that character can represent.

Moreover, while I understand that Pope has to be identifiable to a mainstream audience (read white) and while I certainly believe that BMJ  can also connect with non-BF, that’s not its premise and neither should it be. Contrary to this article (and its own very strange ambivalence about the place of “universal” identification), DBW doesn’t frankly care if everybody connects with the character. And here’s why: no one cares if everybody connects with the average white character on a show. It’s just assumed they are so normative, why wouldn’t everyone try to relate, identify and be familiar. Universality is typically only applied to cases of non-white media. You know, the non-normative.

One of the great things about a possible spectrum of BW characterizations is that while they can all be different and all be relatable to mass audiences if need be, they can also be SPECIFIC. Specific, like a WASP-y yet agnostic female attorney forced to return to work after years of homemaking when her asshat (at the time) husband goes to prison and eventually decides to end a relationship with her new lover because she feels it has deleterious effects on her as a parent (BS but that’s what that heffa did. SOBS. :rocks self and sings “Rollin’ in the Deep”:) .

Specific, like an overly teary yet brilliant CIA agent with a chemical imbalance and daddy issues who falls in love with a man who may or may not be a terrorist sleeper agent.

Specific, like a French Canadian with a deep love for spaghetti, who takes a job as a secretary, falls in love with her taciturn, mercurial boss, shows it by performing a New wave French song with illegible lyrics at his birthday party, becomes a copy editor and then realizes her dream as an actress on a soap opera who occasionally enjoys threesomes.

That kinda specific. But back to Union, again, I don’t think this is the performance of a lifetime but…

Jessica Paré.

How much good faith would it have earned THR to demonstrate that they read their own articles about the success of Being Mary Jane and realize that including the lead of one of cable television’s hottest shows would not only help it get recognition from those Television Academy members who don’t realize BET still exists but also prove once again that Black viewership is REAL?

Again, DBW can anticipate the counter arguments: BET is not on the radar. Union isn’t that great. It’s not a critically acclaimed series.

And as many rebuttals to those points as I can make, I’m just going to go with the simplest one: Optics are everything. Contrary to popular belief, Lupita Nyong’o is not the only other BW available to work right now. Don’t EVEN get me started on her because her issue is the opposite side of the visibility spectrum where she gets lots of mediated attention/fetishization but ends up with little employment aside from a makeup endorsement and a role in the goddamn Jungle Book. But I won’t address it because y’all still believe and are praying against her working with Tyler Perry and I ain’t got the strength to fight…today. The magazines are suffering a post-Nyong’o sugar coma right now but, again, it’s that Highlander thing. In addition, just because she’s the Most Beautiful Woman in the World doesn’t mean it’s not still important to PRETEND like you notice that there are other BW who are on television and are in lead roles. One≠ALL the BW.

I understand that the stylists had a particular kind of look in mind that only pale could endure but I mean, BW can wear blue! So what, you want to do this weird Big Love-esque style look?

Image

BW will work it out. We always make do.

But putting Jessica Paré on the cover instead of one of those other women I mentioned—especially Union—illustrates one big point: they gave NOT. ONE. EFF. (excuse me mama)

At the end of the day, it’s just a magazine cover. It’s just agents and managers vying for their clients to be on the cover of THR. DBW gets it. However, as per usual, the minute we assume that business is ideologically (yes, yes, big word) neutral and is not operated by humans with perspectives, beliefs, and hierarchies, is the minute we lose sight of what this is about. Is it about a diversity count? No. But is it about acknowledging that whatever difference is occurring on-screen, it be illustrated and seen as important.

Because relying on Kerry? That ain’t gon sustain.

Oh FFS: Let’s listen to the Highlander theme. It’ll cheer us up.

*I mean it wrapped up a little too neatly and with few things unresolved as if they questioned being picked up for season 2. SPOILERS: And neither dude in the running?! And one of ’em got a baby coming? And they got Whitney singing “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” over her handing the dude back his sperm and it’s sposed to symbolize something but we ain’t sure since I don’t think Mary Jane changed all that much but I mean what I know?

**Not knocking but she did sorta magically jump the there can only be one Black lady famous at one time velvet rope. She jumped right on past Sanaa, Nia, nem.

*** I’m fully certain that Halle has…issues. But still…

 

 

 

 

 

Dear readers, dear readers, dear readers. It is now winter and I’ve left you all summer and fall without a post. And I do feel horrible.

tumblr_ljrxugQtMG1qixleeo1_500

I’m Sorry Okay.

I often think of you all when something happens in the newspaper (that I read online) or in my television shows or when I am in a conversation with someone else about something foolish. I think to myself—I need to share this with the five of you who read this blog so that y’all can get as big a kick out of it as I do.

tumblr_mf8sflZhYf1ql1280o1_500

But writing dear readers…Writing, for DBW is akin to holding her breath under water (YES DBW CAN SWIM. AND HER HAIR IS SHORT AND UNRELAXED SO IT DOESN’T BOTHER HER AS MUCH ALTHOUGH SHE SOMETIMES STILL THINKS ABOUT IT AND STILL DOESN’T SWIM AS OFTEN AS WHITE PEOPLE DO BECAUSE WHY.).

I have pretty good records for “holding my breath.” But when I hit the goal, I often come up for air and then think, Oh my lord I was under water for a long ass time. I’m just gonna float for awhile and then awhile is the whole summer and fall and I have to remember all over again how to breathe under water and REASONS.
Now, you probably don’t care about any of that but that is the only excuse–aside from laziness–that I have to explain my whereabouts.

In any case, I’m here ‘nah. So let’s get to the question. A reader asked me to answer the all too damn difficult question: “Why do black guys go for white girls.” Haa.

And I’ve just gotten real specific by listing the two people I would have the most problem with in the world to get together: Idris Elba and Zooey “I want to physically accost her” Deschanel.

081011-celebs-idris-elba-luther

Sighs. If God is merciful he won’t let this wonderfulness…

zooey-deschanel-hot-images-normal

connect with this because that upsets the order of the universe.

But seriously: Lord, if I had a nickel for every time someone has tried to answer the question of BM and white women I’d have as many nickels as Tami Roman (Team Tami FTW).

tami-roman-reunion-show

Yes, because I love this woman and she rose from rags to riches to rags to riches again. Selah. Also: she’s messy as hell but she’s good for snatching the necessary wigs when necessary. Look at her in this picture! I just…I love how little of a damn she gives about all of us.

The problem with the question is that we honestly have no idea. At the core, it seems to be personal choice and desire. And, yes, desire is informed by a multitude of stuff–history, culture, assimilation, integration, self-hatred, etc. Remember when Hollywood tried to beat us over the head in the 90s with all the “deep black people movies”? Like Higher Learning (which I loved).

higher-learning-0

And Zebrahead (which I slept through but tell people that I love),

Zebrahead 2

Save the Last Dance (which I refused to see for fear of setting fire to the movie theater),

220px-SaveTheLastDance

Jungle Fever (which I watch but skip past the Snipes/Sciorra scenes in favor of the BL conversations shot in full closeup)

jungle-fever-movie_220x300

Wait, wait…let’s stop and watch this clip:

I do deeply love the harshness and realness of these BW talking about the state of Black relationships. It’s mean; some of it can be offensive; it’s crude–but it’s real. And few of us can deny that we’ve had this very conversation even though Jungle Fever came out in 1992.

Back to the list…Mississippi Masala (which, I mean…do *you* remember Mississippi Masala? I thought so).

220px-Mississippi_masala

What did these movies try to teach us? Essentially that it’s none of our damn business anyway. “Love sees no color” and all that foolywang. And I suppose that half of that BS early post-race formation logic is sorta kinda true: It’s not my damn business. So, please, before you send me comments about how you and your loved one break the mold–and for the love of God and all that is holy do not send me comments about how the only race that is important is the human race. I will tell you to take a seat in the lake of fire–realize that I’m not talking about y’all personally and individually. This whole “atomized” individuality is how we all got into this mess to begin with. Bygones.

Here’s the thing dear readers: Just like Flipper’s wife said at the end of the Jungle Fever clip, at the end of the day (BW love saying that expression nowadays. I blame reality television), whatever color woman took her man away. But that it was a white woman just made it sting worse. Why? Because it’s about not feeling first. At the end of the day? It’s about not feeling first. Lemme explain.

So, since BF came to this country (involuntarily I might add), we’ve essentially been embroiled in what I will shallowly call an Image war for our identities. We were enslaved and it seemed that to keep us enslaved (I’m not even talking about that Willie Lynch stuff so don’t ask me about it), some reimagining of identity had to take occur. So beautiful people begin to be called ugly and dumb and beautiful BW who are raped and producing children for their white slave owners are drawn as overweight, asexual mammies to disavow desire because “who would want to lay down with THAT when you have porcelain skinned beauties in overly tight dresses to woo??!”

Mammy-gone-with-the-wind-12962135-439-580

What we’re used to when considering mammy.

imgres

More likely what many BW looked like during that era.

After slavery, beautiful BM are reduced to bucks and coons and toms and mandingos and BW are mammies and Jezebels and Sapphires and Tragic Mulattos–identities marked by stereotype more than real dimensional characterizations. What’s more? These are not “good” identities; rather, they are fraught with hypersexuality and hyperviolence and neglect and abandonment and ineptness.

What’s that got to do with my arch nemesis Zooey D? Be still and watch me work.

Zooey Deschanel 07-07-2009Zooey Deschanel 2009-07-07

Have you ever seen someone who looks more happily confused about their place in life? Me either.

So, BM and BW identities are frozen in time. They rarely change and grow and even if a new identity arises (the black nerd or the black hippie or what have you) they don’t erase the old identities–they just lay the new ones on top of them.

But white people? Oh my goodness, white people have a myriad of identity types. Not even the damn sky is the limit! Anything you wanna be! Any way you want to be it–it’s fine! In order to get to a particular identity you have to give a descriptor–think Southern or Granola or Hipster or F*ckin Hipster, or Midweseterner. Get it? In order to think about the particular identity I have to give you a clue because white signifies very little on its own. A FRAKKIN AMAZING THING.

Here’s another descriptor: QUIRKY. Now, if you’ve been reading DBW for a while you know how I feel about quirky. As a quick refresher? I HATE IT. IT’S SO ETHEREAL AND AIRY AND NOT PALPABLE AND LIGHT AND NOT WEIGHTED DOWN WITH THE GRAVITY OF HAVING LIVED A LIFE THAT IS SOMETIMES FRAKKING HARD AND IT’S FLEETING AND GAAAAAAAH.

:: DBW takes a deep breath and lies down for a few minutes ::

Okay, okay I’m back. So, I don’t like quirky for all those reasons I screamed at you just now. But more than that, there’s an earnestness and an innocence to quirky that I don’t think all the people (read: people who look like me) get to access. There’s a cavalierness to being able to ride around in a cotton dress on an old school bicycle and think about how good your life is and how much you really enjoy record shops and playing tunes on your beloved BUT BROKEN piano because your father is a world renowned cinematographer and you have access to a dietician so you can lose your baby fat. There’s an elvishness to the quirky identity that I found grating because again, it’s completely dependent upon naivete and the fact that one doesn’t have to be aware of Others because they are the most important ones.

Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about so specifically? This.

I just want to contrast this quickly with Jazmine Sullivan’s Cotton ad to show some difference (pun intended):

There are some similarities in how both ads show these women dreamily contemplating their lives in coffeeshops while journaling and such but even at the level of lyric, Sullivan’s is about achieving the “dream” while Deschanel’s is about you know, what she did that day. (I also recommend looking at Miranda Lambert’s cotton ad because the descriptor of difference–in her case Southern and country–makes her song and visuals markedly different.)

Anyway, anyway: that quirky identity that Deschanel makes for herself is one of many that are accessible to her and one that she can switch out for another whenever she’s ready to switch into “takes myself serious ingenue” or whatever. There’s little fixity to her identity persona.

And more to the point of this little diatribe  blog entry: PEOPLE LOVE IT. They eat it up. She is valued beyond measure for being quirky and “oh so cuhyute.” She is accessed value and worth and is allowed to be at the top of the totem pole.

But we BW who are fighting this Image war? We don’t get the same privileges. The attributes mostly associated with us are “turn offs”; things that people don’t love. Things that make us hard to deal with. I refer you back to the Jungle Fever clip if you need a sample.

I know some of y’all remember hearing about Wesley Snipes (enjoy your prison stay! BF, pay your income tax for the love of God and all his holy baby angels) and how he said that BW have too much attitude. Even if he didn’t say it and it’s urban legend right up there with Tommy Hilfiger and Oprah and Liz Claiborne, the fact that it exists and that it has lingered for so long stresses just how undervalued BW are perceived to be.

Too much attitude. Why pick someone who has too much attitude when you can have quirky all day long!? (Yield sign to my white friends: I don’t think any woman comes off particularly unscathed in Snipes’s remarks–especially Asian ladies)

Now, over here at DBW, she with the intellectual letters behind her name recognizes that she’s just created a really strong binary that has little nuance. And yeah, you’re right. These things are simply not that simple. But you asked why it seems to hurt BW when BM go for the white ladies. And my answer is because it feels like we’ve lost the Image war with the very people we’re allied with. I didn’t say it was rational or logical. It’s not betrayal; it’s a question of WORTHINESS. Put simply: are we worth the effort? And many times, it seems like the answer may be no. 

This is why…OH THIS IS WHY..that new ABC show Scandal is so interesting. Oh readers, do yourself a favor and hop on the Twitter on Thursday nights at 10/9 c and SEE for yourself.  (Seriously: Black Twitter is where it is at y’all. Pop some popcorn and watch the foolywang.)

tumblr_maq5jf6sXY1rddzyfo1_400

Flawless makeup Kerry Washington.

The opportunity to identify with (colorblind until the most recent episode where Olivia called herself Sally Hemmings which yes we can talk about but not now because who has time to write THAT novella?!) a BW who is madly in love with a white man (and the white man is in madly–like bordering on obsessive–in love with her) that makes all of us consider our life choices and decisions? Of course we’d take that bait.

HERE! Have some pictures and gifs and stuff so I can prove my point.

scandal_510x317

scandal_page-bg_10733

tumblr_mfa9m2BMQ51riyeieo1_250

tumblr_mfbgphtLvT1qftw7ko3_250 tumblr_mfbgphtLvT1qftw7ko4_250 tumblr_mfbgphtLvT1qftw7ko5_250

Who cares that he’s married?

10401_10151390542705625_337867131_n

Hell who cares that he is a REPUBLICAN!? All I know is that when he told her that she didn’t belong to him but he belonged to her I think BW all over America had to drink their second glass of moscato juice because that was…yeah.

Why is Scandal so successful with BW? Outside of it being the first show with a black lead in for-damn-ever, it taps into the worthy/value piece. This woman’s identity is scrubbed clean of the others and it’s like this aspirational world where there was never a mammy or a Sapphire but we are really all the same and stuff. (Don’t get me started on the race problems. Like I said, ANOTHER BLOG POST.) And: this fine ass white man and this black man (who looks too much like Bill Cosby for me to take him seriously but I mean, yay Norm Lewis! I’m glad you have a job.) want her affections and IN WHAT WORLD HAS THAT HAPPENED ON OUR DAMN TV SCREENS?

Tony Goldwyn. I don't even know what happened to our good sense when that man utters syllables and vowels and uh...commands.

Tony Goldwyn. I don’t even know what happened to our good sense when that man utters syllables and vowels and uh…commands. That scene with the shotgun was both terrifying and a little quiver-inducing.

Edison Huxtable as the Scandal fan community calls him.

Edison Huxtable as the Scandal fan community calls him.

I shall stop with this for now except to say that really, if Zooey D hooked up with Idris Elba I really would burn Sunset Blvd to the ground. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

tumblr_mcogkeEayZ1r6h22v