Whoa, whoa…too many questions that require lots of responses. Not a lot of thought but alot of response.

They are giving the Obamas a run for their money. Who's the real "first" family? Challenge!

First, yes, Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith and their fabulous hipster children (insert sarcastic face and eye roll) hosted the Nobel Peace Prize concert in Oslo, Norway. Why? I have no damn idea (not totally true: my gut is because Obama is black and they are black and we all know each other). I mean, Will is the $4 billion (that is a “b” as in “bad boys”) actor who we liken to a “black Jimmy Stewart.”  ::insert DBW awkward pause::

Anyway, I haven’t a real clue why they were there. or Donna Summer (who needs to set that wig down and pick up one that doesn’t look like a big dog laid on top of her head). or Toby Keith (does he know what peace is. Not gonna lie: I love this song. I can’t help it. Makes me laugh so hard I pee a little. And my blackness is still intact for the record.)

Dear Diary: On my first trip outside the United States, I got to sing "I wanna talk about me" in front of millions of non-Americans.

But mostly I haven’t a clue why their children were there. I know little Jaden is in the Karate Kid reboot but uh..Willow? No idea. And to come out in her diva outfit–seriously, no 9-year-old should be that swanky and remind you of Toddlers and Tiaras (remember the one where the little black girl gets spray tanned? I don’t even understand that). Anyway, her baby Rihanna hairdo (complete with silver star..another awkward pause) is just unsettling. And unattractive..yep, I said it. Cassie did it first Ri-ri and it wasn’t cute on her either.

The official response was:

“Geir Lundestad, secretary of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, said of the Smiths, ‘Together they’ve had a global impact on the arts and philanthropy and will be excellent ambassadors for peace.'”

To which Will and Jada added:

Earlier, Will and Jada said that their primary goal was to issue a warm welcome to the world. “I’m going to have to restrain some of my standard dumbness,” Will joked. We want to make it seem as though we are hosting very prestigious guests in our living room. We want to be able to just bring some warmth and a little laughter and fun into the program,” Jada added. “And, at the end of the show, we’re all coming out and we’re going to sing.”

And they did.  Or tried to, at least. At  minute 2:13, my head started to explode. By the time Toby appeared, it was like the 4th of July. A multicultural/multigenre/transnational cluster of foolishness. All around Michael Jackson (may-he-rest-in-peace).

All of that to say, dear readers, DBW is just as unclear as you all are.  Well, I was till I discovered that last year’s concert host was Scarlett Johanson. Maybe this year was an upgrade?